I was thinking back to trick or treating as a wee Jen and how I wish I still had my plastic, blow molded bucket.

My trick or treat bucket was serious business when I was a kid. That, my Christmas stocking and my Easter Basket were all very sentimental to me.

I don’t have it but it kind of looked like this:

It was big, though. Still it would get unbearably full and my mom or dad would lighten the load a little bit. They must have brought like, K-Mart or Zayre bags with them to hold the Halloween candy overflow. I can’t remember, I was too busy burning off my Halloween trick or treating buzz.

Some kids had trash bags. It seemed efficient but a little too impersonal for me. These kids also would slap together a sham costume just to get candy.

Fuckers.

I loved the McDonald’s Halloween Pails. SO. MUCH. ACTUALLY. And you know it’s true because I can’t stand the rotgut they serve at McDonald’s. I’m actually slowly collecting the pails. If you see a blond on hoarders surrounded by a lot of purple, green and orange plastic jolly Halloween things, DVR that shit, cause it’s me.

Whoa tangent! Hey! The only TOTer’s that would use those buckets would be little kids, who could only walk to 5 or 6 houses. I used to put a big rock in mine and line the front of my house. Born a haunter, baby.

By the time my mom’s boyfriend’s daughter was trick or treating, about the year 2000 or so, they were onto these weird plush buckets (I hesitate to really even call them buckets, they are like rigid, shaped sacks). I can’t say I cared for them.

Suck.

Another after-my-time addition to Halloween trick or treat pails was the non-Halloween character variety. Cool if you’re going as Elmo, because now you can ask people to throw candy in your head.

 

Just because I coordinate doesn’t make up for my absolute NON SCARINESS. Halloween is not about accessorizing.